Selamat Hari Raya

On this blessed day, I humbly seek forgiveness from Allah Subhanallah for my late parents, my parents in-law ,my late elder brother Emran, my late relatives near and far, and friends who have gone forever. May Allah bless their souls and and have compassion for them as they had been compassionate to us in their life time. On this day too, I sincerely seek forgiveness from my wife, children and loved ones who I may have hurt, offended or slighted in any way. I say these things every year, and then I forget and start being nasty and harsh. But it has to be said. Like a reminder. One way would be, is to put myself in their place and I might see what I have done. May Allah guide me the right way. Milah, I love you and the children very much. I will never let you be hurt, ever. Please forgive this cranky old man. Selamat hari raya everybody.

Ba'in and his Honey

Some time in the early 1940s. Ba'in (Ibrahim) was coming home to Penang for his vacation. He was so eager to see his mum and siblings again after some time. He was posted in the Singapore PWD as a draftsman. There was so much news he wanted to hear about his family. How his mum is coping with the family. He was very keen to see his little brother Naim's girlfriend ,Yon, whom he has heard so much about. One day they, Ba'in,Naim, and Rahim (Naim's buddy) cycled from their Jelutong home (Kurau Road,off Perak Road) to Yon's house in Western Road ( facing the psychiatric ward of the Penang GH). Having met Yon, he was introduced to two other girls (Yon's sisters). There was Z (Zohara) who was Rahim's girl , and the eldest one was Haniffa. They were all beautiful girls, but Ba'in was melted by Haniffa's classic looks and gentle ways. When he went back to Singapore, he couldn't stop thinking about Haniffa (or Honey as he called her). He would send ' epistles' ( those days people don't call or sms, they write letters called epistles). Naim and Rahim were his despatchers (postmen). It was the Japanese Occupation, and out-of-control Japanese soldiers were misbehaving and put fear in the hearts of parents with young daughters. The girls' father Azyze accepted Ba'in's suit and so Ba'in and Honey were married in 1943. The other sisters married later on. And so began Ba'in and Honey's life together. It would last for 25 years. But Honey stayed true to the love of her life for 46 years until her own death. That's our mum, Honey. A most gracious and loving soul there ever was. May Allah bless your souls Mak and Bapak. Happy Birthday Honey.We miss you.

There is 'Hikmah'

We are almost two weeks into the fasting month. Its quite an effort to restrain yourself from those little tiffs with the missus and the kids. Some times an off-remark or so can lead to a high decibel debate. That would taint our 'pahala puasa' wouldn't it ? To be fair to them, they can get uptight too at times. This is to be expected when we are tired and hungry ... and sleepy . I'm sorry if I have hurt or offended them. I am very impressed with my son Fadzlil. He is a role model for 'puasa slackers'. Despite his disabilities, he goes thru the day just like any abled person. Ever since his unfortunate accident some years ago, he didn't fast for the first two years. I paid his 'fidyah' at one of the pondoks in the neighboring kampung. This is his 3rd year of fasting since the accident. This year, Raya is very special to him.His birthday falls on the second day of Raya (Oct.25). Every day, tiringly to our poor ears, he drops broad hints like asking, how many more days to Raya ? People ask why I don't get around much anymore. Would they understand that I ,or somebody has to be around Fadzlil at all times to make him comfortable, swat a mosqito ,give a scratch, change tv channels, give him a drink. Milah will take care of the feeding. He doesn't like my feeding style.He says I'm messy. My special task is in the icky and yucky chores. We only get relief when his brothers are home. He didn't ask to be this way. If he could, he would not ask for help. We should feel his disappointments, his frustrations, his hopes and desires. He had everything to look out for, his star was shining bright. Has it all gone ? Look at him now. I still see the glitter in his eyes. The brave and stubborn jut of his jaw. Feel the love and glow in his heart. His fight is not over yet. He is not down yet. His mind is still sharp as ever. He can still out-talk you. His body may be broken, but his spirit is not. We should not look at his unfortunate incident as a calamity but as a reminder. Believe that there is 'Hikmah' or God's 'hidden ' blessings behind every incident. Insha'Allah.

Ramadan 2006.

Tomorrow is the 1st of Ramadan, the Fasting Month. During this month, Muslims are advised to re-examine themselves. Clean their thoughts and their souls. Obey Allah's commands, be faithfull to Islam and the teachings of Prophet Muhammad S.A.W. Do your compulsory ibadah and as many provisional (sunat) as you can manage. Try to resist temptations . Don't 'bad mouth' others you don't agree with. Be understanding with your family and friends and magnanimous with your non-friends. Reach out for the poor and weak, help them if not by means then by ways. Fasting helps you to feel their hunger and weakness. Be kind to each other and to other living creatures and this good earth. Lets not be extravagant when breaking fast and waste food. Eat just enough to sate your hunger and thirst. Eat healthily. Have a good and 'berkat' Ramadan. InshaAllah.

What's happening to our beloved nation ?

What's happening to our beloved nation ? Can our leader keep focussed on his job ? Why does an ex-leader keep distracting his successor with his whining and tauntings ? He cannot accept the reality that he is not in charge anymore. He expects his successor to walk in his footprints. Or that his associates lost out to the new leader's associates. Why insult and humiliate ? In front of his former political foes, who are now so enthralled by his oratorial performances. In front of foreign pressmen, who once reviled him. Is that the way for a very distinguished, highly respected former leader to behave ? What happened to that dignified Malay/Malaysian culture of politeness and courtesy ? Does it pleases him to be likened as a scruffy street fighter. If he feels unhappy about his successor's work, engage him and advise like a father. More good will come from that, than going round the country, insulting your succesor,his family and friends. Age is catching up on us, so retire gracefully, make peace with God and ask for His forgiveness and blessings.

Shafiq gets MyKad

Our little boy Shafiq became 12 on 23rd August. Looking at him,one wouldn't believe that he is already 12 years old. With his cute baby face,soft and smooth skin, fine hair and clear sparkling eyes. And he stands four feet tall. He can hardly say a word,but he understands you. Can be precocious and cheeky like other kids. Can be stubborn and annoying too,sometimes. He is after all a kid that won't grow up. By the way,he is showing some signs of puberty.I can see some fine hairs growing in their respective places. According to the law of our land, every kid who turns 12 has got to have an identity card (MyKad) . On his 12th birthday Shahman and me took him to the nearest NRD office in Kepala Batas town. The office was not crowded at all, just some parents bringing their 12 year olds for registration,like me and Shafiq. The staff were very friendly and helpful. Shafiq was dressed in a blue checkered shirt and his hair neatly combed for his very important photograph. He sat nicely in the chair and was ready for the shoot. And then, they turned the spotlight on him. He turned his head away and just looked at the floor. He seems uncomfortable with the light on his face. We coaxed and comforted him to get a good pose.It took about 15 minutes to get a satisfactory photo. By then, his hair was tousled and his shirt was crooked. And they did not get a full frontal image, a bit senget like half turned face. Then it was time for fingerprinting. Parents are fingerprinted with ink on the application form. Shafiq held out his thumb to be inked. But MyKad applicants are electronically fingerprinted. The clerk took Shafiq's thumb to be scanned on the fingerprinting gadget. He saw the blinking red light on the gadget and pulled his hand away. That red thing must be hot,he thought. More coaxing, cajoling and finally managed to get both thumbs printed. In two months time, we'll see how his MyKad looks like. Note : For those who don't know, Shafiq is a 'special kid' with Down Syndrome. He is God's gift, to be loved, to be cherished,to be protected. He is my amanah as are all my children and my wife, that I will bear till the end of time.

In Memory of Bapak

'I can't remember his voice, I can't remember his scent.' How could you, little sis ? You were only seven when he left this world. Missing all the fatherly attentions in your formative years. Proudly presenting your report card for his approval and signature. Being cuddled in his chair,and to be told 'you're too big now to sit on my lap' A peck on the cheek as he sent you off to school. When you were a little baby, he lulled you to sleep with his deep gentle baritone. Just like he did for the rest of us. When you were naughty, he would be stern and did not spare the rod. After the punishment, he would embrace you and cried with you. He sang songs with you and Mak and all of us. He loved to sing your favourite song "Burung Kakak Tua' Sis, I had him for twenty one years.It was not enough. There were so many things I wanted to pick from his wisdom. I so badly wanted him to be my friend as I became a man. But God decided that we could'nt have him forever. God took him back when he was 49. Today,August 11th is his birthday. He would have been 88. Bapak,Mak, we your children, your children-in-law and your grandchildren and great-grandchildren ask Allah Subhana Taala The Almighty to bless your souls, forgive your mistakes and place you among the faithful.Amin.

Censoring Blogs

Just like several other bloggers, I was quite taken aback when I saw the headline 'Bloggers Beware'. The government is going after bloggers who criticize the government, disrupt inter-racial and inter-religious harmony, and generally make an ass of themselves on the internet. I believe,this decision was prompted by the not so favourable comments,remarks and name callings by some rabble rousing 'master's voices' and their herd. These bloggers are the 'seeking popularity and fame' types. They are the ones who should be penalised. Mr Minister, have you ever tried blogging ? Does'nt matter what language you are well versed in, it's very fullfilling. Is it true what they say, that you are not very I.T. savvy. Is that the reason for your phobia of the internet ? Mr Minister, you just browse the blogs and see. Not everybody is writing about politics. They are writing about their family,their friends, their pets, their plants, what they ate just now,what movies they watch, what books they read. You want to censor them and me too ? Most bloggers are opinionated,I agree. Is his opinion going to be read by 20 million Malaysians ? Will that small opinion influence the rakyat ? Will that small opinion shake the stock exchange ? I don't think so. Please don't be too harsh on us happy simple bloggers, go for the bad guys by all means. While,you are browsing, get your webmasters to do something about the various government departments websites. They suck.