Friday, October 06, 2006
There is 'Hikmah'
We are almost two weeks into the fasting month.
Its quite an effort to restrain yourself from those little tiffs with the missus and the kids.
Some times an off-remark or so can lead to a high decibel debate.
That would taint our 'pahala puasa' wouldn't it ?
To be fair to them, they can get uptight too at times. This is to be expected when we are tired and hungry ... and sleepy .
I'm sorry if I have hurt or offended them.
I am very impressed with my son Fadzlil.
He is a role model for 'puasa slackers'. Despite his disabilities, he goes thru the day just like any abled person.
Ever since his unfortunate accident some years ago, he didn't fast for the first two years. I paid his 'fidyah' at one of the pondoks in the neighboring kampung.
This is his 3rd year of fasting since the accident.
This year, Raya is very special to him.His birthday falls on the second day of Raya (Oct.25).
Every day, tiringly to our poor ears, he drops broad hints like asking, how many more days to Raya ?
People ask why I don't get around much anymore.
Would they understand that I ,or somebody has to be around Fadzlil at all times to make him comfortable, swat a mosqito ,give a scratch, change tv channels, give him a drink.
Milah will take care of the feeding. He doesn't like my feeding style.He says I'm messy.
My special task is in the icky and yucky chores.
We only get relief when his brothers are home.
He didn't ask to be this way. If he could, he would not ask for help.
We should feel his disappointments, his frustrations, his hopes and desires.
He had everything to look out for, his star was shining bright.
Has it all gone ?
Look at him now. I still see the glitter in his eyes. The brave and stubborn jut of his jaw. Feel the love and glow in his heart.
His fight is not over yet. He is not down yet.
His mind is still sharp as ever. He can still out-talk you.
His body may be broken, but his spirit is not.
We should not look at his unfortunate incident as a calamity but as a reminder.
Believe that there is 'Hikmah' or God's 'hidden ' blessings behind every incident. Insha'Allah.
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2 comments:
Fadzlil.. u cannot imagine how much i think of him.
the what could have been, sure, but more, of how he is now - his smile is as sunny, his remarks as witty, and his penchant for insults hasnt palled!
but the grit is what gets me. the grit and courage to go through day by day, watching other people attaining what were once his dreams and what were once well within his reach.
But you know, Fadzlil does not invoke pity. he invokes instead a sense of gladness in the hearts of peopl like me.
i always feel humbled and thankful and full of gladness when i visit. i dont know why, but largely its fadzlil himself and the sibs.
Fahmie and Shahman are amazing - they are so good with him.
thou art blessed Pak Shah.
while Fadzlil's pain is hard to bear, the selflessness with which your family care for him and the normalcy of everything in the way you deal with him is inspiring.
give all my love. oh, and lina shld be ecstatic about the end of PMR!
You are kind, gentle, patient and strong brother. There sure are 'hidden hikmahs' and for a person to identify it, simply means he is gratefull to 'Allah'. Alhamdulilah I have a brother who always think of 'Allah' and who is grateful to 'Allah'. I pray 'Allah' will shower you his blessings in this blessed month of Ramadhan.
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